Sometimes, most times, the truth hurts

Just like the title says, the truth does hurt. Why? Because most times you don’t want to know the truth, you want to live in a little bubble and pretend that everything is great!

It breaks down to not really knowing somebody because you’re blinded by other factors.  I won’t mention names, but if you’ve been following and or reading my blogs, you know who you are and who I’m talking about. From February until pretty much at the time of this writing, I had a “very” good relationship with a girl I worked with. At work, and through text outside of work. It was awesome!

We see each other at work, I console her and be her rock during her “break up”. I actually fall for this girl, I really didn’t think this was possible anymore, but I did. I’ve let her into my circle, which I haven’t done for anybody in a very long time. Before anything is said or thought, we haven’t done anything but kiss. No sex, nothing. So when I say I fell for her, I fell for the woman that she is, not what she has or what she can do sexually for me. Yes, I’m very sexually attracted to her, but no sex has happened between us. I didn’t fall for her body or sexual things, I feel for her as a whole.

Now, here’s what I don’t understand, her and her ex boyfriend are “friends”, still talk, still go out, and still have sex. From everything we talk about, he needs to fix a lot of things. I mean when they broke up, there was a very high chance they would get back together, they been together a long time, but there were a lot of things that he had to fix about himself before they would be getting back together. What is the motivation for him to even try and change because everything’s going to just be the same anyway, so why change?

Regardless, through the past couple of weeks after we no longer worked together, I started to notice things. We didn’t work together anymore, just texting each other. Pictures through Snapchat, occasionally a phone call. But these became more and more more scarce. I started to notice what our conversations are about.

The majority of our conversations were about an issue she was having her “boyfriend”, and how much of a moron he actually is. I mean seriously, this guy is a fucking moron. But that’s neither here nor there. It’s a “comfort” thing for her, and a status thing for him.

News Flash! You are not always right, the world don’t revolve around you, and you can’t always have your way.

So, I’ve been hanging out with another friend, who I generally really enjoy her company. She comes over everyday, texts me random things throughout the day, lots of times just to say hi. We pretty much watch movies together, talk, enjoy each other’s company. Very relaxing. But, jealousy started happening. I don’t know why. I mean, you have a fucking boyfriend, and because I start to enjoy the company of another girl, you get jealous? Are you serious? What is there to be jealous about, seriously! Ya, we talk, about a lot, but there’s a lot of things I will not talk about, because of the traumatizing effect it had on you. Believe me or don’t, it makes no difference to me because I know what’s been talked about and what hasn’t.

The way I see it, you have absolutely NOTHING to be jealous about. You want to have your cake and eat it to. I’m partially to blame because I was blinded by feelings, and not thinking straight to see what he had as a whole.

I firmly believe it’s because you’re stuck with a dead end relationship, which will always be the same, throughout the rest of your life. You pretend to be happy, when deep down you’re dying inside. I have stopped numerous things that I was doing to talk to you, there was never a time that I didn’t have time for you, unlike your bf, who don’t make anytime for you unless it’s convenient for him. His time is his, not yours, and that won’t change. It’s called being selfish, time to wake up, or at least open up your eyes.

I told you long ago, I would always be here for you, regardless of everything that has happened, that stands true. But come on, you have to seriously take a deep hard, deep down look at your soul and see everything around you, as it really is, and not through a false of beer googles.

When are you going to actually start following the advice you try to give to others?

How’s it feel to know you have bigger balls then he does? How does it feel to know that he’ll never have an original idea? Or that he’ll never amount to what a man really is?

Read this, get mad, get pissed, hate me, it is what it is. Because I’m not going to sugarcoat shit. Ya, the picture calls you a bitch, because that’s what you’ve been lately, embrace it.